Humor Post-
The TBEX travel conference is one of the best ways for travel bloggers to get connected with industry professionals and grow their network. It also can be a ridiculous amount of fun if done right. I’ve accepted that my place on earth is to be a shining example of what NOT to do.
1) Don’t Ask Johnny Jet to put you in a Choke Hold
Cause he will do it. And Johnny’s got a mean choke hold. His grip tightened with every botched selfie and pretty soon I couldn’t feel my extremities. I couldn’t swallow my free drinks for at least 10 minutes. The next morning I woke up with a pounding headache and looking like I lost a Mexican bar fight. It made me feel a little better that my tweet went viral and I won a free iPad, which leads me to point number two…
2) Don’t Use the Bathroom During the Winner Announcements
It’s just not a smart move. Just hold it you idiot. While I was in the bathroom splashing water on my face to get rid of the cobwebs from the head lock, they were out on stage announcing, “Brad Bernard, come up and get your iPad… Brad Bernard… I guess he didn’t show up tonight… OK, next…” So now, not only did I get beaten up intentionally and forfeit my iPad, but now everyone thinks I sneak off to the swinger bar when nobody’s looking. Bad move.
3) Don’t Sneak up on #GaryExpress
Gary Arndt is arguably the f*cking coolest person God has ever created. His “Revealing All,” presentation was non-stop value bombs. If you stop to tweet a quotable line, you’ll miss four more. If you sneak up on him, he may just reveal more than you expect. We snuck into his presentation early to catch a glimpse of the man himself, only to find him practicing karaoke, to Baby Got Back, “I like big butts and I cannot lie…” He said he was testing the microphone but I’m sure he was hoping his talents would get discovered. He wasn’t a bad singer, but that may be the reason for his sabbatical, where rumor has it he lives in a cave and only comes out to complain about the slow wifi.
4) Don’t Take Too Much Dramamine Before a Boat Trip
Dramamine is wonderful for avoiding sea sickness, but when we all took too much before a boat trip, we all turned into Zombies. I awoke out of my coma with just enough time to capture Max Hartshorne‘s expert sleeping technique before passing out again. We were all back to normal after a few hours but I am definitely missing some memories of that day.
5) Don’t Take Nick Anywhere
Nick Huggins is known for living vicariously through himself (he has yet to teach us), but ever since we met him, his debauchery seems to follow us. First, Anne tells us he spilled everywhere at BlogHouse and then we wake up at our Flipkey penthouse mansion to find that someone had thrown all of the chairs in the pool. Anne tells us it was Nick again and I didn’t even think Nick was in Cancun. He must be a ninja. Come to think of it, I don’t remember him spilling at BlogHouse either.
6) Don’t Try to Outdrink The #ChampagneDon
Don George likes his Champagne, but don’t try to keep up. It just won’t work. I believe Don is genetically immune to the negative effects of the bubbly, but you are not. You might end up in the bathroom splashing water on your face and wondering why you thought it was a good idea to ask Johnny Jet to put you in a choke hold.
I’m sure the tequila has killed a few brain cells, so please let me know if I’ve forgotten a few. What is the funniest moment at your first TBEX?
A big thank you to Flipkey which helped us find an amazing penthouse condo for our stay at TBEX Cancun. We found it a much better (and more affordable) option than the all-inclusive hotels with tourist buffets.
at 5:30 pm
Hehe, this is hilarious Brad! Can’t believe you ended up missing out on the Ipad prize but sounds like it was great fun out there!
Shikha (whywasteannualleave) recently posted…Singapore’s Christmas Trees, Festive Lights and Dazzling Decorations
Twitter: the_HoliDaze
at 12:33 am
There is a wealth of knowledge to be gained from every TBEX and I’m glad to see that you’ve learned from your mistakes. This post more than another other TBEX one I’ve read makes me regret the fact that I skipped this year despite the fact I was in Mexico already. Shame on me 🙁
Derek Freal recently posted…Derek Drives That! Strange Vehicles, Exotic Locations And Unparalleled Mischief
at 7:52 am
TBEX was awesome! Nonstop fun. Sorry you couldn’t make it. Glad to see you’ve figured things out and are traveling again.
Brad Bernard recently posted…Extreme India Challenge Rickshaw Run: Death Summons Us to the Sacred Ganges
at 9:27 pm
How is this a humor post? It’s all true. Especially the bit about Nick…I swear, you can’t take him anywhere — even when you don’t take him places he still finds a way to cause a ruckus. I hear he even makes Texas BBQ leftovers disappear.
My advice? Don’t hang out with Brad Bernard, especially at professional industry events. The adventures he gets himself into are already extreme enough WITHOUT tequila. #trouble
Anne recently posted…Vietnam 2, 3, and 4 Week Itineraries
at 8:02 am
I know! Nick’s ruckus seems to vicariously follow you, Anne. He must be a ninja.
You think the trouble that follows me is somehow my fault? No way! I blame it on the tequila.
Brad Bernard recently posted…Extreme India Challenge Rickshaw Run: Death Summons Us to the Sacred Ganges